the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hello my rib-scented angel!