On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
