Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Someone shattered a urinal.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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