You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
