He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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