this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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