how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
