My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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