We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
