my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
you never un-have a 4some
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
