I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
