that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize