We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
