Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
