it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
