I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
