why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize