As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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