Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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