I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
