Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
