My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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