Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
