Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
