then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
