Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the liver wants what the liver wants
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
