I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
