Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
40s are totally the cure
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
