I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
