Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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