How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
