come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
