I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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