Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize