Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
