I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
