if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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