saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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