Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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