ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
