Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
