C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
