I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Randomize
