Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
