I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
