I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
