Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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