You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I woke up under a house in Key West
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