I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
