:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
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so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
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He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on