she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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