just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I faked an abortion last night.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
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A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting