youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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