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• (512): View more from Texas

  just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  pretty standard. you have fun last night?

  (512): View more from Texas

  apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I faked an abortion last night.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Now it's a party.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  you suck at sexting

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