oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it