I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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