grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.