hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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