i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
