We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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