Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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