Sry I called you an 8
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
