I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
