id be glad to
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize