You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
