There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
