Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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