id be glad to
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We left an ass print on the piano.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize