So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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